


Abby Freaking Suso

by clevernotbrilliant (clairevergreen)



Category: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Bi Leah, Book Spoilers, Coming Out, Crushes, F/F, Kinda, Shameless Wish Fulfillment, canon compliant if you squint, do tweets count as canon?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 03:20:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11222211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clairevergreen/pseuds/clevernotbrilliant
Summary: Leah didn’t have a specific moment. She had a person.





	Abby Freaking Suso

Leah assumed that there was one specific moment when you knew. A lightbulb moment you could look back on and say “That’s it, that’s when I figured it out.” A few Google searches (done in the confines of her own bedroom, door shut tight, and incognito tab opened just in case her mother went snooping) were anything but helpful; she was positive the next person to tell her, “you’ll know when you know” would find out exactly what her drums felt like as she played. Even the few times she eavesdropped when Bram and Simon happened to mention it did nothing to help her.

Leah didn’t have a specific moment. She had a person.

Shady Creek was not exactly a haven for liberal thought, so Leah had never stopped to question anything about herself. She knew liked boys and ever since she was eleven, she never really questioned it when she found another girl attractive; it wasn’t something she tended to think too much about. And then Abby Freaking Suso crashed into their lives.

Despite her best efforts, Leah knew that her crush on Nick had been more than a little obvious, but Simon was always nice enough to not bring it up too much. Still, it had been some miracle from above that Nick had never put it together himself. Well, before the Abby thing at least. A part of her knew that she was being irrational disliking Abby just because the guy she had a crush on liked Abby instead of her, but Leah had never claimed to be rational when it came to her.

Something shifted at Garrett’s Halloween party. Leah didn’t know if it was the Wonder Woman costume that showed off a bit more of Abby than she was used to or being at a party that didn’t involve Disney sing-a-longs while someone’s mother sat upstairs, but it didn’t really seem to matter.

As soon as they walked in the door, Garrett greeted them with the offer of drinks, which she quickly turned down. Her eyes drifted over to Abby, tuning out the rest of what Garrett is saying. She was vaguely aware of Abby giving her order and shook her head to try to clear it.

Garrett quickly disappeared to grab the drinks and Nick mumbled something about a guitar before going upstairs, leaving her with just Simon and Abby. Abby started singing along under her breath and moving her shoulders in time with the beat. Leah continued to stare until she felt Simon bump into her side as he shrunk closer to her. 

Pulling her attention away from Abby, she scanned the room for anything to distract her. “Wow, is that Katniss making out with Yoda?” Leah said, trying to pull her mind back.

“Who’s making out with who?” Abby asked, seemingly oblivious to everything around her.

Leah just stared as Abby turned, brushing some of her dark hair away from her lips. Abby looked directly at her with her big, dark brown eyes and whatever biting remark Leah was about to say flew out of her head. “Yeah…,” she said, unable to look away, “forget it.”

Abby glanced around and try as she might, Leah still couldn’t look away. “Where the heck is Nick?” Abby asked.

Leah sucked in her lip almost out of habit, but this time was different. She still felt that familiar pang of jealousy, no doubt about it. It felt like a switch had been flipped somewhere deep inside her and she suddenly wasn’t sure who exactly she was jealous of.

She could tell Simon had noticed as soon as he said, “Feeling up a guitar somewhere?”

She smiled a bit at that. “Yeah, most awkward way ever to get a splinter.” Abby started giggling and Leah felt her cheeks immediately flush. The small smile stayed on her face as she tucked her hair behind her ear. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Simon giving her a look, but Garrett walked back in with their drinks before he could say anything.

Leah couldn’t have said exactly what happened for most of the night, her focus completely on Abby despite her best efforts. If it weren’t for Mr. One Beer Spier, she wasn’t sure she would have made it through the whole evening. She mentally filed away the fact that Simon was extremely touchy feely when he drinks, something she was sure her middle school self would have been over the moon about. Her present day self, however, simply appreciated the fact that his ramblings about everyone’s supposed ethnicities distracted her from Wonder Woman sitting across from her.

That all went out the window the moment Abby decided to get up and start dancing. If Nick and Martin hadn’t been up there awkwardly bobbing next to her, she probably would have actually gotten up and left the party. As it was, even in her distracted and confused state, she couldn’t help but get in a dig at Nick and Simon’s expense. “Oh my god,” she said, nudging Simon. “It’s happening. We’re finally witnessing something more painful than Nick’s bar mitzvah.”

“Awkwardness achievement unlocked,” Simon said.

“Should we be filming this?” she asked, already reaching for her phone.

Simon reached his arm around her shoulders. “Just savor it.”

Normally, Leah hated people touching her, but something about that night made her curl into Simon’s side as he pulled her closer. She buried her face in his neck, muffling the sounds from the party. Her mind was still whirling, but there was one thought that kept coming back over and over. “I think I like Abby,” she mumbled into his neck before she could stop herself, belatedly hoping that he was too buzzed to make out what she said.

He nudged her with his shoulder. “What?” But she just shook her head and sighed.

***

Leah never regretted dating Garrett. She had really liked him and it was nice not to be the odd one out for once with everyone else in a relationship. She didn’t regret breaking up with him, though, and the summer before they all left for college certainly presented a good opportunity. Abby and Nick had broken up at the same time, saying they both wanted the complete freshman experience and if they still wanted to be together after a semester, then they’d get back together.

It was completely stupid, but hey, it seemed to work.

Leah hadn’t thought about her crush on Abby much since she and Garrett had gotten together, but it was always there in the back of her mind. At Garrett’s Halloween party their senior year, she accidentally told Bram of all people that she was bi (and once drunk Bram knew something Simon knew approximately two seconds later), but that was the last time she really had to think about it. Until she found out who her roommate was going to be in the fall.

“Okay, so I know that you’re not really the ‘matching with your roommate’ type,” Abby said as she drove Leah home after yet another shopping trip. “But maybe just coordinating colors or something, ya know? To tie it all—”

“Why would we need a color coordinated room?” Leah interrupted, munching on the Pringles she had managed to sneak into the cart when Abby wasn’t paying attention. “Who’re you planning on inviting there?”

Abby shrugged. “You never know,” she said vaguely. Leah raised her eyebrow, but didn’t say anything as Abby plowed ahead with whatever thought jumped into her mind. “Speaking of inviting people back to our room,” she said and Leah didn’t miss the little glance she threw her way.

“Nope, we are not having this discussion,” Leah said. She could already feel the heat starting to creep its way up her neck.

“I’m just saying,” Abby said, not taking her eyes off the road.

“We have over a month to figure that out and we definitely do not have to do it now,” Leah said, twisting the hem of her T-shirt. There was, of course, more than one reason for how uncomfortable the conversation was, but she wasn’t about to tell Abby that.

Abby plowed on, seemingly oblivious to Leah’s discomfort. “A signal or a sign or something in case we have a guy or girl or someone…”

Whatever Abby said next was tuned out by the buzzing in Leah’s ears as soon as she mentioned girls.  _ Did Bram tell her?  _ No, of course not. She may not have been his best friend, but Leah still knew that he wasn’t the type of guy to go spreading other people's’ secrets around.  _ …Did Simon?  _ She had had her moments of doubting her friendship with Simon, but after everything that happened with Martin, she didn’t think he’d out someone, even if it was just to Abby.

“Leah? Earth to Leah.” She jumped as she felt Abby’s hand on her shoulder. Abby glanced over again for a second before looking back at the road. “You okay?”

_ Yeah. Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?  _ “Why did you say girl?”

The car was completely silent. If she listened hard enough, Leah was convinced that she could actually hear her heart trying to escape from her chest and she was certain that the air had been sucked out of the car as well. The heat from her face could probably have cooked an egg at that point, but she refused to look over to the driver’s seat.

Abby cleared her throat, breaking the silence. “I mean, I just,” she started, “I’m not assuming…I’d never do that. I just meant, you know, i-if the situation ever, er, came around…”

Leah stared straight ahead, watching as they stopped at a red light. “So…do you…I mean, so you…like...?”

“Jesus, I can’t do this,” Abby said suddenly. Instinctively, Leah looked over as Abby whipped the car into the right-hand turn lane and sped into the parking lot of some tiny corner bakery that looked like it hadn’t been open in years. She threw the car in park and twisted in her seat so she was facing Leah.

Leah stared at her with wide eyes. Before she realized what she was doing, her hand was already on the door handle, like she was ready to make a break for it if she needed to. Abby took a deep breath as if she was steadying herself. “Yes,” she said quickly. “I mean, technically? I like boys and girls and—” She paused and took another breath. “I’m pansexual, so gender doesn’t really matter—”

“But you like girls,” Leah repeated quietly, her heart still pounding.

Abby stopped and looked at her. Leah didn’t miss the way her eyes briefly darted to her lips. “Yeah,” Abby all but whispered. “I like girls.”

Leah had never exactly been good about taking chances. She was more the kind of person to sit back and let things happen ever since she was little. At this point in her life, she had assumed that part of her would never change.

And then she met Abby Freaking Suso.

In a move much more graceful than she had expected out of herself, Leah unhooked her seatbelt and leaned across the gear shift. She reached her hand up to the side of Abby’s face and started to lean in, but Abby closed the gap between them. The gear shift was jabbing her in the leg and she was pretty sure the seatbelt was cutting into Abby’s neck, but neither one pulled away. Leah’s breath hitched as Abby’s hand ran up her arm and settled at the nape of her neck, raising goosebumps everywhere she touched. She felt Abby smile through the kiss.

“So,” Abby said, slightly out of breath as they broke apart, “I guess that means you like girls too?” Leah laughed and was quickly interrupted as Abby pulled her back towards her.

_ Abby Freaking Suso. _

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to Julie for not only holding my hand the entire time I was writing this, but also for getting me to read this absolutely amazing and wonderful book <3


End file.
